Booty call you fail!

I don't want to write this. I really don't. I am humiliated, rejected and frustrated!

First of all, I had a great time in SoCal. Well for most of the trip anyhow. I hung out with Ryan and I got to meet Ethan. I did end up meeting Chris, which turned out to be; well rather awkward.

All this talk of the booty call for the past few weeks was exactly that....talk. He didn't hit on me and he never even tried to kiss me. So you can safely assume that he never touched my body in ways we had spoken about. He was incredibly shy and incredibly dorky. To be honest he is not the type of man I'd ever go for, not in a million years. He's not as confident or assertive as I like my man to be. He was not a real looker. Just your average videogamer geek-boy.

I bet you are wondering why am I humiliated? I am humiliated because for once in my life I actually was playing the role of the creepy man and he was in the role of the hesitant female. He resisted my charm and temptation and believe me; after 3 vodka and cranberries I was pulling out all the sexy talk. I was not drunk but I was tipsy. Shoot I needed a drink to ease my nerves and convince myself to even hit on him.

He provided a slew of excuses why he shouldn't bone me. His main reasoning was he was afraid he'd get attached. Then it was the excuse of just not being horny. Dammit that would have been no problem if he'd only touch me!  There was also the "I'll disappoint you. I have a small penis". Then it got much worse. I guess in his twisted little geekboy mind he decided his best defense was to totally offend me. Genius actually says "I might get THE herpes". In 1 second flat he totally killed the mood, my libido and also proved to me why this retard is TERRIBLE with the ladies. I rolled over and laid there in absolute silence thinking about what a total dickhead he was. Disclaimer: I do not have herpes. He said repeatedly that it was just a joke and that he used to joke with his ex that she gave him herpes. Haha, real funny douchebag! Again let me point out he said "ex". Maybe she didn't think the herpes joke was too funny either. Learn from your mistakes, douche!

You are probably asking yourself why an attractive woman like myself was lowering her standards to begging for sex from a geekboy. Well to be honest I think it was more of a pity sex thing. Like I would somehow give him fulfillment. Like he was missing out on life for not being with me. I'm a MILF. I would be his first older woman. I would make his first trip to California unforgettable. I wanted to boost his sexual confidence. Instead he only made me angry and frustrated. Even more frustrated that I spent almost $1,000.00 fucking dollars to meet him. Seriously, I could have spent that on an awesome vacation with my son to Disneyland.

That was just the icing on the cake. There were a few other days that his complete asshole qualities came out.

His greatest concern was if we slept together, things would change between us. Well now because we didn't sleep together, things HAVE changed between us. I am humiliated and I really don't want to speak to him right now. And maybe never. He wasn't a very good friend to me and he certainly turned out to be a lousy week-long fling.

I called my friend Mario and told him what a fool I had made out of myself the night before; and how I had totally thrown myself at Chris. Mario decided to drive down and make my last day memorable. I can report that Mario would have slept with me had I said yes. He flirted and attempted to make his motives obvious to me but I just couldn't do it. It made me think if I had done the same thing to Chris. I only view Mario as a friend and maybe Chris saw me as "A Mario".

The only good thing to come from this is at least I can still keep to my promise of not sleeping with someone until I care for them. I won't have to say I failed on my 43things list now.